Once Upon a Forest Correct Again
| Once Upon a Forest | |
| | |
| Released | May 31, 2011 |
| Running time | 20:32 |
| Previous review | Revenge of the Nostalgic Commercials |
| Next review | Little Nemo |
| Link | http://channelawesome.com/nostalgia-critic-one time-upon-a-woods/ |
NC: How-do-you-do, I'yard the Nostalgia Critic. I recollect it so you don't have to! You lot know…we don't review plenty environmentally-aware films, do we?
(The viewer moves the mouse cursor upward to the corner of the screen to look at a porn website.)
NC: Come back! Come dorsum! I assure you, this abrasive environmental pic has One big difference from all the other abrasive ecology films. (beat out) This 1 has Michael Crawford!
(The viewer moves the mouse cursor up to the corner of the screen to wait at some other porn website.)
NC: Hey! Hey, come back here! Come dorsum here! Stop looking at porn! (He grunts to shove the website bated to speak.) This is Once Upon a Forest! (The website pushes back.) D'ahh!
(The title screen for the picture is shown, followed by a montage of clips from that picture.)
NC (voiceover): Aye, I guess the early '90s actually had a freak-out most destroying the environment! Not that it isn't worth saving, only watching this shit makes me wanna burn downwards five unprotected rainforests and smoke three endangered species just to even it out! (An image of a forest burn is shown, followed by a Photoshopped image of a man smoking a giant metal cigar filled with a few endangered species inside.) And you might every bit well add this movie to the listing. It'due south stupid, it'due south anticipated, it has that helium-airship Michael Crawford in it…
NC: …it's a delight. So, let'southward sum upward this flick'south message past applying the appropriate visuals… (He looks to the bottom right corner of the screen to run into NC shaking his head no and making the Forefinger Rub gesture (which means "Shame on you") to the photographic camera.) …this is Once Upon a Forest.
(The movie begins.)
NC (voiceover): So what kind of story would Once Upon a Forest be if it didn't commencement out…once upon a forest?
(Abigail, a woodmouse, sits on a tree branch loftier above to await at the view of the whole forest.)
Abigail'southward Begetter: (calls from beneath) Abigail!
NC (voiceover): D'AAAAH! Nosotros're in Secret of NIMH 2!
(Abigail is wearing overalls similar to Cynthia Brisby'south from The Cloak-and-dagger of NIMH 2: Timmy to the Rescue.)
NC: Quick! Hide all your Eric Idles! (He makes a shoving motion with both easily to the left side of the screen.)
Abigail'south Begetter: At that place you are.
Abigail: Yes, Daddy. (She runs off.) See y'all later! Dear you!
Abigail's Male parent: (waves adieu equally he watches her run off) Me, too, Abigail.
NC: (equally Abigail'south Begetter, waves) I love me, as well, yeah.
NC (voiceover): So this is Abigail. She'due south off to school with her friends, a hedgehog named Russell, a mole named Edgar, and a badger named Michelle, played past a young Elisabeth Moss from Mad Men.
Peggy Olson (from Mad Men): I am so loftier.
NC: Yous'll demand to exist to become through this.
(All the four kids hurry within Cornelius' home.)
Michelle: If Uncle Cornelius asks, tell him it isn't my fault you lot're late!
NC (voiceover): I shouldn't really say it's off to school, though, as much as for "specifically chosen for whatever reason" kids sitting around listening to that high-pitched fop from Hello Dolly.
Cornelius: (He speaks from backside several tall stacks of books on a desk and raises a hand to point at the kids.) Don't accept some other step! (All the kids freeze in place.)
NC (voiceover): This is Cornelius.
Leeloo (from The Fifth Chemical element): Corneli-oos!
NC (voiceover): Close plenty. He's played, as I said before, by Broadway-sensation Michael Crawford. Now, some consider him a gifted musical genius, others say he's pretentiously over-the-top. Simply ane matter'due south for certain, though, he'due south a comedian's (speaks in an Irish accent) pot o' gold!
Cornelius: Ready to exist amazed! (He lets loose a small flight model of some sort from behind his desk, which swoops down and startles his students.) Well, what do you lot have to say?
NC: (every bit ane of the kids) You're lucky Gerard Butler sings worse than y'all?
Cornelius: Nonononononono. About this! (He pulls out his flying model to show the kids.) My life's piece of work! One mean solar day, I shall build it full-sized.
Russell: I wanna fly information technology next! Please?
Abigail: Don't be silly. You'll crash it!
Cornelius: Corrrrrect, Abigail.
NC (voiceover): You know, there's only so much whimsy that you can put into every word you say. I hateful, does he talk this mode with everything else he does?
NC: (sits on the toilet and speaks like Cornelius while using whimsical gestures) Oh, no! I'm out of toilet newspaper! (Cut to him at the doorway) I all-time go to the store, for I have a log that I rrrrrrrreally need to drop! (He looks right and walks off in that direction) Whooooo!
Cornelius: It's far besides fragile for Furlings.
NC (voiceover): Oh, aye. All the children in this film, past the mode, are called "Furlings." Isn't that weird?
(A cursory montage of Cornelius calling the children "Furlings" is shown.)
NC (voiceover): Why is it fantasy films always accept trouble just saying the discussion "kids"? It's always "Furlings" or "Younglings" or "Shia LaBeouf"! But telephone call them what they are! Kids!
(The flying model is let loose around the place, and the Furlings try to get information technology.)
Cornelius: No, Furlings! My books!
(Edgar ends upwards catching information technology, but a heavy volume labeled "Gravity" lands on the model, swell it into pieces on the ground.)
Cornelius: (gasps and lifts the volume to get at the broken model) Grrrrrreat honk!
NC: (confused) What?
Cornelius: Grrrrrreat honk!
NC: Cracking honk? (An epitome of a family unit of ducks holding a sign "HONK!" is shown below him.)
Cornelius: Smashing honk!
NC: Bully Hulk? (An epitome of the Incredible Hulk is shown below him.)
Cornelius: Great honk!
NC: Peachy hawk? (An image of Henery Militarist is shown below him.)
Cornelius: Bang-up honk!
NC: Peachy squealer? (An image of Pumbaa is shown below him.)
Cornelius: Bang-up honk!
NC: (feels uncomfortable) …Terminate making up words!
Cornelius: Look what you lot've done!
The Phantom of the Opera (as sung by Michael Crawford): (dubs over Cornelius) Damn you! You petty prying Pandora! Yous piffling demon! Now you cannot e'er be free! Damn you! CURSE YOU!
NC (voiceover): And so despite the setback, Cornelius decides to all the same teach them the lesson for the day, which, surprisingly, is not smacking their red behinds.
Cornelius: (points to a tree with his cane) Now, what is this, Furlings?
Edgar: A willow, Cornelius!
Cornelius: Corrrrrrect! Did you know its bawl tin be used to cure rheumatism?
Michelle: What's "rumor-tism"?
Cornelius: Rheum-ah-tism.
NC (voiceover): Aye, what is "rrrrrheumatism"? Is it why Rrrrruffles have rrrrrridges? I'd rrrrreally, rrrrrreally, RRRRREALLY like to know!
Cornelius: (hears a crack in his back and feels the spot) Ooh!
Edgar: Oh! I know! Rheumatism makes your bones hurt when the weather gets damp.
Cornelius: Corrrrrect again. (He places a piece of the bark in Edgar'southward paw so that he tin can examine it.)
Edgar: Wow.
NC (voiceover): Well, that's our outset big "Wow" moment, kids; looking at a slice of bawl. (He whispers) Although don't give away the climax where they come across a half-urinated pino cone!
(The Furlings play around by tossing Edgar'south hat effectually back and forth.)
Cornelius: Furlings! We shall go home correct now if you are non going to take this ramble seriously!
Edgar: No! No!
NC (voiceover): Did he actually just call his ain speech a ramble?* Like even he knows what he's proverb is 100% bullshit. That's not very encouraging when your teacher acknowledges that what he's saying is totally pointless.
- (Actually, the ramble is being referred to the field trip Cornelius and the Furlings are on.)
NC: (every bit Cornelius) Now, children, how would you similar me to prrrrattle on nearly my uncontrollable bowel syndrome? (He grins)
Kids in the Audition: (as the Furlings) Yaaaaaaay!
Edgar: (stands on some road pavement) This ground isn't normal. Information technology's… (He feels the pavement)…it's hard.
Michelle: And it smells kinda funny.
Cornelius: (notices a car approaching) Furlings!
NC (voiceover): Will you terminate calling them that? It sounds like a racial slur!
(Russell ducks as the auto drives over him; the passenger throws an empty bottle out the motorcar, and it falls onto the pavement, breaking into pieces.)
Cornelius: Oh, Russell. It's rare that a Furling survives an encounter with…
Michelle: A monster?
Cornelius: That is a skilful name for it.
NC (voiceover): (as Cornelius) It's rrrrrrrare that a rrrrrrrrange rrrrrrrrover doesn't rrrrrrrrram yous into rrrrrrrrravaged rrrrrrroadkill, you rrrrrrrrrrambunctious footling rrrrrrrretard!
Cornelius: I desire you to forget this place.
Edgar: What was it actually, Cornelius?
NC: (leans forwards to the camera) MAN!
(The discussion "MAN!" is displayed next to a panda'due south head with a tear on its face while dramatic music plays, then the film's antagonist Man is introduced in the style of an old-time newsreel consummate with the Critic's narration.)
Newsreel Narrator: Yeah, Man. Human has always…no, you know what? I'g sick of it. I'm tired of putting Man downwardly all the fourth dimension. What the hell is wrong with you people? Hell, I similar Man! I'g a Man! And I don't like how we ever accept to say what a bunch of assholes we are! Hey, you know what'southward dangerous? You know what's really threatening to everybody? (The caption "Animals" is shown with photos of a shark, a tiger and a snake.) Animals! They eat people, have sharp teeth and carry several diseases. If you should stay away from anything, stay abroad from them! (Cutting to live-action footage of a woman performing before a panthera leo.) Wait at this poor adult female! She's doing…God, I don't know what, but the lion doesn't like information technology! (The lion attacks her; the following text is shown onscreen.) Animals! Evil! Bad! Wanna kill you! (The narrator resumes speaking normally.) They don't make films near what a bunch of dicks they are! They merely fucking eat you! (The explanation "Do Non Make Bad Films About Themselves!" is shown, and then the following text as the narrator speaks it.) Animals! Yous ameliorate eat them, before they eat y'all! (Footage of the lion attacking a adult female is shown again.) Look at that, right the fuck outta nowhere!
(Back to the movie)
Cornelius: Here's the large surprise! (He pulls some bushes away to reveal a pocket-size archaic boat.)
Furlings: Wow! Await it! A gunkhole!
Cornelius: Get in! Get in!
(Cut to anybody in the boat.)
Cornelius: Alright. Abigail, Russell, you paddle beginning.
NC (voiceover): (equally Cornelius) Possibly we should sing a song. (starts to sing) Rrrrrow, rrrrrow, rrrrrrow your boat, gently downward the strrrrrrream!
NC (voiceover): (normal) But unfortunately, simply as Cornelius was talking about the evils of Man, one of the evils of Man shows upward, equally a truckload of poisonous gas gets into an accident (after driving over the broken canteen) and spreads through the wood.
(Poisonous gas leaks out and spreads through the forest, killing the flowers that it passes past.)
NC: Oh, please, female parent of God! Tell me that green gas has the singing voice of Tim Curry!
Hexxus (as the green gas; voiced past NC): (sings) Light-green with green-eyed! Mmmm! Itch from my ass! You will odor my to-to-to-toxic gas!
NC (voiceover): So as the (speaks like Cornelius) Furlings (normal) return, they see that anybody has abandoned their homes, and some didn't even arrive out live.
Michelle: Mommy! Daddy? (She runs off)
Cornelius: Michelle!
Michelle: Mommy, is that you? (She runs within her home.)
Edgar: Wait, Michelle!
Russell: No!
Abigail: It's dangerous!
(All three start to go within.)
Cornelius: No, Furlings! There's a deadly gas in there!
NC: (equally Cornelius) They had Taco Bell just before they left dwelling!
Abigail: Well, I'thou not waiting! (She goes inside.)
Cornelius: Cover your mouth!
NC (voiceover): So Abigail finds that Michelle's parents didn't survive. (He fakes sympathy.) Oh, no! That is so sad.
NC: We should do a montage of all the times we've seen them to testify just what an affect they've left on united states.
(Only the single shot of Michelle's parents dead is shown with Sarah McLachlan singing "I will think".)
NC: You relish that? OK.
NC (voiceover): She besides comes beyond Michelle, who apparently has passed out.
Abigail: (She has covered her mouth and goes over to Michelle to rub the top of her head; Michelle groans.) Oh, Michelle.
NC (voiceover): Come on, nosotros all know that'southward non the first time an Elisabeth Moss graphic symbol has breathed in something hazardous.
Peggy Olson (from Mad Men): I am so high.
NC: I wish I was.
NC (voiceover): Only Abigail gets her out and they try to figure out how to relieve her. In the concurrently, Cornelius tells the (speaks similar Cornelius) Furlings (normal) exactly what did this.
Cornelius: A long time ago, I lived far away in a identify called Willowbrook.
(Flashback to Cornelius every bit a kid and spending Christmas with his family unit.)
Cornelius: (narrates) We heard the sound. Mother and Father told united states to run. (Young Cornelius and his sister start to run and escape.) Nosotros got out, but Female parent and Father…they didn't. (Man lays a bear trap in front of the entrance where Cornelius' parents stand up.)
NC (voiceover): Boy, this movie is all nigh the parenting annoy deaths, isn't it? If you're a annoy and you help make life, your ass is gas!
(Back to the present)
Cornelius: At that place was nothing I could exercise for my mother or begetter.
NC: Yeah, from what I understand, most people named Cornelius have bad blood confronting Man.
Cornelius (from Planet of the Apes): (reads from the sacred scroll of the apes) "Beware the Beast Homo, for he is the Devil's pawn."
Cornelius: Merely there is something you can do for Michelle. I need special plants.
Abigail: Only everything in our meadow is dead.
Cornelius: And then you must discover another.
Russell: Another meadow?
Cornelius: At that place'southward no pick! You only have two days' fourth dimension!
Russell: You're coming with usa, right?
Cornelius: I wish I could, but I cartel not get out her side.
NC (voiceover): Uhh, wouldn't information technology make more than sense if Y'all went looking for the plants and the CHILDREN stayed with Michelle? Plainly, this is incredibly dangerous, and then why risk losing the lives of four children instead of one?
NC: I mean, seriously, why don't yous—a grown adult—go on this mission instead of sacrificing these fiddling children?
(An animated version of Cornelius appears)
NC's Cornelius: Ah bup bup! Rrrrrrrheumatism! (The word "Rheumatism" appears above his head as his arms are spread wide.)
NC: Oh, aye. Rheumatism.
NC's Cornelius: (chuckles) Heeheeheeeeee.
Edgar: Nosotros'll exist by ourselves?
Cornelius: No. You'll have each other.
NC: Which…pretty much ways you'll be by yourself.
Cornelius: Yous'll want an early start. (He pulls out some blankets to give to the Furlings.) At present, get some sleep. And if y'all dream…dream of improve times for Michelle and Dapplewood.
NC (voiceover): Male child, he'southward even telling them what to dream! This guy's a flake of a dickhole! I'm sorry, it'southward just he didn't even enquire them to do this or commencement out by saying, "I'll get," and and then maybe let one of them volunteer instead. No! He just forced them to endanger their lives! He's kind of a jerkoff!
NC's Cornelius: Ah bup bup! Need nosotros forget? Rrrrrrrheumatism! (The give-and-take "Rheumatism" appears above his caput as his arms are spread broad.)
NC: Rheumatism.
NC's Cornelius: Rheumatism, yes.
NC (voiceover): And, of course, information technology wouldn't be a Michael Crawford…well, anything…unless he sung.
Cornelius: (sings to Michelle) You've barely made a start. Only one beat of my eye…
NC (voiceover): And here's where people usually split on Crawford. You either love his singing, or you're really annoyed by information technology. Only I think we can all hold that information technology goes all over the place, starting from a high-pitched soothingness…
Cornelius: (sings) No matter how I mark the hours lite and night…
NC (voiceover): And then, in a millisecond, irresolute to a shaky low tone.
Cornelius: (sings) Go out dark dreams backside.
NC: (every bit Michael Crawford, singing showtime in a high-pitched soothingness) Whether I sing like this, (then to a shaky low tone by shaking his pharynx with one hand) or if I sing similar this (high-pitched softness), either way, (low) I feel (high) we'll (low) take (high) a-(depression)nother (high) raise!
NC (voiceover): That and, to me, his singing e'er sounds like a two-minute long sigh.
Cornelius: (sings) Merely information technology's nonetheless early morning for you.
Young Vocalisation Off-screen: Hey, Mr. Crawford! They're out of Yoo-hoo at the grocery store!
NC: (every bit Michael Crawford, sighs before singing) Ohh, I approximate I'll go with Fresca.
NC (voiceover): Well, either way, he only gets one song, as the story must continue with the (speaks similar Cornelius) Furlings (normal) going into the wilderness to discover a cure. They run into an open up field where a dangerous owl looks out for prey, and, of grade, he finds it.
(The owl swoops down to grab Abigail; Russell and Edgar catch onto her, just Abigail loses her grip and both Russell and Edgar fall to the ground.)
Abigail: Aid!
NC (voiceover): Well, one downwards, 2 more than to become! Soon, all the kids volition be dead thanks to Cornelius' cowardliness! But hey, that's…
NC'south Cornelius: Rrrrrrrheumatism! (The word "Rheumatism" appears above his head as his arms are spread broad.)
NC (voiceover): Simply it's OK. Abigail uses a magnifying drinking glass to make her teeth look bigger, and that actually scares the owl. Wisest of all animals, my Furling ass!
(Abigail falls out of the hole that's in the tree and onto Edgar and Russell, who happened to exist climbing up the tree to get her; they all fall to the basis.)
NC (voiceover): After they escape, they try to get some shuteye for the night so they'll have their strength in the morn. All of a sudden, they hear something in the altitude.
(The Furlings peek through some grass to see a funeral march going on with a gospel choir of birds singing.)
NC: Oh, I'thousand sorry! Another…movie seems to exist passing through. (He shrugs in confusion.)
(The funeral march and singing continues on.)
Frodo (from Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring): (speaks to Samwise) They're going to the harbor beyond the high towers. Gray Haven.
NC (voiceover): So it sort of takes a while to figure out what'due south going on, just it looks like a bunch of these birds are having a funeral for another bird that hasn't died yet. Meet why it'due south confusing?! What actually is going on is the birds are saying farewell to a younger bird, (speaks like Cornelius) a Birdling, if you will, (normal) considering he got stuck in the mud and seems to slowly be sinking. And when I say "slowly," I mean not moving at all. It'south not similar the parents could but bring him food and even so look afterward him. No, no. He'due south a goner! Describe the funeral, even though he's alive! Eat the corpse.
Bosworth (the male child bird stuck in the mud): Goodbye, Mother!
Mother Bird: Bosworth! Oh, my son!
NC (voiceover): But the kids figure out a way to get the little bird out, so this calls for several minutes of musical padding!
Preacher Bird: (sings) Well, well, well, Hallelujah!
Bird Chorus: Hallelujah!
(The exchanging of "Hallelujah!" between the preacher bird and the chorus continues as the motion picture intercuts briefly with clips from "The Blues Brothers" of a gospel choir singing, dancing and doing acrobatic flips. The whole grouping marches away while the song continues and fades, and Edgar waves goodbye earlier dancing along to the music.)
Slappy Squirrel (from Animaniacs): That was pointless.
NC (voiceover): Simply the birds are kind enough to say where another meadow lies for them to detect the plants they're looking for.
Preacher Bird: The only path lies that fashion… (he gestures toward a direction) …across a cursed ground, over which my flock will not even fly.
NC: (as the Preacher Bird) That is, on business relationship of our rheumatism.
NC (voiceover): So they endeavour to make it further, but come across a bunch of bulldozers and other machines that they misfile for yellow dragons. Merely they manage to escape and eventually do run across another meadow. Heck, it even has other animals in information technology.
Waggs (a squirrel): They're just hither to steal our food!
Edgar: No! We're just looking for lungwort and eyebright. We need the herbs to assist a sick badger!
Waggs: Why would a mole, a mouse and a hedgehog wanna help a foul-smelling, worm-eating, good-for-nothing badger?
NC: Um….Popular-tarts?
Monk: IT'Due south NOT Popular-TARTS!
Russell: Hey! Expect at all the eyebright!
NC (voiceover): That's correct, they run into the eyebright, i one-half of the plants that they needed. And so where'southward the other establish located?
(Camera shot of the lungwort growing along the side of a rocky cliff, and the camera pans dorsum to reveal how high it is located; dramatic music plays as we hear Homer Simpson go, "D'oh!")
Waggs: No one in Oakdale'southward ever been able to reach it.
Russell: I know how to get up there. (He pulls out Cornelius' plans for his invention.) We'll use Cornelius' Flapper Wingamathing.
Edgar: Russell, proficient thinking!
NC (voiceover): Uhh, yeah. Simply take the plans for a device that took months and months to build and brand it 10 times bigger in just a matter of a few hours! Yeah, I'd like to see that happen—(cut to the full-size device completed) WHAT THE FUCK?
(The Furlings fly the device into the air.)
NC (voiceover): OK, at that place's MacGyver, and and then in that location's God! And this is…Mac-God-ver! There is no manner you can exercise this!
Russell: Yay! We're flying!
NC (voiceover): So on summit of getting it to wing, they can also steer the thing! Funny! I wonder how the mechanics of leaves, sticks and animal dung can manage to put together consummate aviation control.
(The Furlings attempt to fly shut to the cliff to get at the lungwort, but a couple parts of the device go damaged from flying too close.)
NC (voiceover): Then Abigail tries to catch the constitute but misses. Luckily, Edgar's there to salve her, simply they come beyond a major problem.
Abigail: (disappointed) It's no use now. The lungwort'due south gone. We failed.
Edgar: No, we haven't!
(Abigail looks upward to see Edgar try to reach for the lungwort that got caught on the edge of one of the wings of the device.)
NC (voiceover): (sputters) Wha-je-buh-how the hell did that happen?! What, was the plant trying to commit suicide and just happened to land on the plane? What the rrrrrraging hell? Oh, well, who cares? The (speaks like Cornelius) Furlings (normal) take their plants and decide to go home.
(The device flies high above the clouds.)
NC (voiceover): Wow, [they're] getting some good pinnacle on that thing, aren't they? In fact, that begs the question: If they could build this thing in but a few hours, why didn't they build it earlier they left on this risk? Wouldn't information technology accept cutting the traveling fourth dimension in one-half?
NC: In fact, why couldn't Cornelius build it while the children were asleep? Let me guess…
NC's Cornelius: R to the H to the E to the U-M-A-TISM! Ruhruhruh-Rheumatism! (The word "Rheumatism" appears above his head equally his arms are spread broad.)
NC (voiceover): So the kids land and finally make it back dwelling house with the plants to brand the cure.
(The Furlings get within Cornelius' home.)
NC (voiceover): (as Cornelius) Information technology's OK, it turns out she but needs some aspirin! How are you?
Cornelius: My Furlings! Yous're back! Did you get the herbs?
NC (voiceover): Just it turns out more shit is afterward them as information technology seems EVIL Man is looking for them outside.
(Everyone within the habitation escapes; Edgar's jacket catches on a branch, and he falls and loses everything on himself (his jacket, chapeau, and glasses), leaving him naked.)
NC (voiceover): After exposing some mole frontal nudity, nosotros come across that Edgar gets caught, every bit Human will no doubt sacrifice him to their pollution god!
(One of Human being takes Edgar out of the trap and lets him go.)
Man: There y'all go, little fella.
(Edgar runs off every bit Man stomps on the cage to destroy it.)
NC (voiceover): What's this? Human being rrrrrreasonable?
NC: OK, clearly you have no idea how early on '90s animated environmental films work! Rule number one:
(The movie affiche is shown with the explanation "Animated Environmental Film Rules" on pinnacle and NC listing off the rules.)
NC (voiceover): Man is the Devil, Anything Not Human is Good, and Your Movie Must Bomb.
NC: Y'all got two of those down, just number one is yet a biggie.
NC (voiceover): So afterwards wrapping her in a Slim Suit, they effort giving her the (speaks like Cornelius) herbs (normal) and wait until morning time to come across if it works. But sadly, it doesn't await similar she's waking up.
(Cornelius and the Furlings sob; Cornelius holds Michelle tight as a tear comes from his heart and falls onto Michelle's nose, causing a stir from her.)
Michelle: Momma?
NC: Oh, of class! The missing ingredient! (Clips from the following movies are shown: Pokemon: The First Motion picture, Inspector Gadget, The Legend of the Titanic, Care Bears Movie 2: A New Generation, and Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan.) Pikachu tears mixed with the middle of Inspector Gadget while magic moonbeams driblet down during the chanting of "We intendance!" subsequently taking her from the Genesis planet. (slaps his head) Whoopsie!
Cornelius: Oh, Michelle, my child! You're alright! (He speaks to the other Furlings.) You three—you have changed so much these past few days. You're no longer my Furlings.
NC (voiceover): (as Cornelius) You are Fur-Natures.
NC (voiceover): (normal) And wouldn't you know it? All the family members come back at the exact aforementioned time to collect their children. Oh, what a happy twenty-four hour period!
Michelle: Uncle Cornelius! All the mommies and daddies are coming back!
Cornelius: (looks distressing) Not all, my dear. (He bends downwardly to hug her.)
NC: …Well, that'southward a fucking downer.
NC (voiceover): Talk well-nigh Captain Buzzkill! How many other happy endings practise yous ruin with your lamentable, awkward facts?
NC #1: (holds a wine glass filled with water) Woo-hoo! I just won the lottery!
NC #2: (as Cornelius) Aye, simply 9/11 still happened.
(NC #1 still smiles (while sensing the clumsiness of the deplorable fact) and shrugs, spilling some of his h2o.)
Michelle: (sniffles) I judge nothing will always exist the same again, volition information technology, Uncle Cornelius?
Cornelius: Well, my dearest, if we all work as hard to relieve Dapplewood, it will be.
(The camera pans up through the copse to view the grand landscape of the wood.)
NC (voiceover): (as Michelle) Does that mean my mom and dad will come dorsum to life?
NC (voiceover): (equally Cornelius) No, dear, they're expressionless and buried. Well, non yet buried. Hey! I just figured out a fun activity for you to do tomorrow!
NC: And so that was Once Upon a Forest, or equally the '90s likes to call information technology, Ferngully…18.
(Clips from the movie showtime playing again as NC gives his terminal thoughts.)
NC (voiceover): This isn't the worst of those environmental films equally it does try to take a few more than chances, like keeping the parents dead and non making Homo entirely evil, but it doesn't practice those elements peculiarly well. The characters are pretty bland, the blitheness's OK, just nada motion picture-worthy. And information technology'due south just the same bulletin that every other ecology motion picture in the '90s had. Though not horrible, it's pretty weak. I merely didn't experience like it brought anything that whatsoever other flick hasn't brought before. It's just a weak, weak picture show.
NC: So you see? It didn't impale ya to hear another ecology review, did it? I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I recall it—
(The viewer brings the mouse cursor upward to the left corner of the screen to view another porn website.)
NC (voiceover): Yous guys are asses.
THE Terminate
Channel Awesome Tagline—
Cornelius: Rrrrheumatism.
| The Nostalgia Critic Transcripts | |
|---|---|
| 2008: | Transformers · Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue · Cloverfield Trailer Review · Power Rangers: A Look Back · Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Book Launch · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movies · The Top 11 Scariest Cornball Moments · Super Mario Bros.: The Moving-picture show · Cloverfield Review · Street Fighter · Mortal Kombat · Infinite Jam · The Nerd Bluster · The Nerd Rant Part two · Pokémon The Start Movie · The Nerd Wizard Rant · The Magician · The Peak xi Naughtiest Moments in Animaniacs · Batman & Robin · The Peak eleven Catchiest Theme Songs · '90s Sports Montage · The Nerd Response…Response · The Height 11 Drug PSAs · The Battle of Ballsy Proportions · Captain Planet · Double Dare · three Ninjas · Pinnacle 11 Hottest Animated Women · Video Game Review · The Search for the Nostalgia Chick · He-Man and the Masters of the Universe · Follow That Bird · Saved By the Bell · Tom and Jerry: The Movie · Top 11 Saddest Moments · Nostalgia Chick Winner · Surf Ninjas · NC vs The Nerd Showdown · Top eleven Cornball Animated Shows · Kazaam · The Nerd vs. NC: The Final Battle · Off to Beat the Nerd · Drew Struzan Tribute · Halloween '08 Special · Double Dragon · Peak xi Underrated Nostalgic Classics · Howard the Duck · Mortal Kombat: Anything · Godzilla · Top 11 Disney Villains · The Super Mario Bros. Super Show · Top 12 Greatest Christmas Specials · Jingle All the Fashion |
| 2009: | Nicktoons · Nickcoms · SNICK · Practiced Burger · The Making of the Final Boxing · Ferngully: The Last Rain Forest · A Kid in Rex Arthur's Court · The Good Son · The Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog · Top xi Nostalgic Mindfucks · Twister · Garbage Pail Kids · Stone-A-Putter · Titanic - The Legend Goes On · The Pagemaster · The NeverEnding Story · Moonwalker · Height 11 Dumbest Superman Moments · TMNT · Red Sonja · TGWTG Team Brawl · Short Excursion 1 & 2 · Batman vs. The Dark Knight · Full House · North · Critic and Nerd: TMNT Making of Coming Out of Their Shells · Sidekicks · Gargoyles · Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen · Steel · Top 11 Cereal Mascots · Barb Wire · New vs Old - LOTR Animated vs Lord of the Rings · Concluding Action Hero · Captain North · Nosotros're Back: A Dinosaur's Story · Warriors of Virtue · Captain America · Superlative xi F*ckups · Lone in the Dark · Blank Check · Old vs. New: Willy Wonka · Cool as Ice · Suburban Commando · Next Karate Kid · Casper · Superman Iv · Congo · Siskel and Ebert Tribute · Gauge Dredd · Tank Daughter · Jack Frost · He-Human being and She-Ra Christmas Special · Side by side Best Christmas Specials · Star Wars Holiday Special · Ernest Saves Christmas |
| 2010: | Commando · Junior · Conan and Conan the Destroyer · Stop of Days · Battlefield Earth · Bebe'due south Kids · Lost in Space · Top xi Villain Songs · Quest for Camelot · Old vs. New: Nutty Professor · Bio-Dome · NeverEnding Story Ii · Top xi Most Bad-mannered Christopher Walken Moments · Flubber · Dwelling house Alone 3 · Old vs. New: King Kong · Driblet Dead Fred · The Care Bears Movie · Kickassia: Function 1, Part ii, Office iii, Role iv, Part five, Part vi · Jaws 3 · Free Willy · A Troll in Fundamental Park · Theodore Rex · Elevation 11 Coolest Cliches · Claw · Independence Solar day · The Room · The Phantom · Zeus and Roxanne · Animaniacs Tribute · Flintstones Movie · Mr. Nanny · Rocky Four · Chairman of the Board · Next Height 11 NC Fuckups · Pound Puppies and the Legend of Large Hand · Pebble and the Penguin · Ernest Scared Stupid · Top 11 Scariest Performances · IT · Leprechaun · My Pet Monster · Commercial Special · Old vs. New: 10 Commandments vs. Prince of Egypt · The Thief and the Cobbler · Waterworld · Little Monsters · Rover Dangerfield · You lot're a Rotten Dirty Bastard · The First Couple: TMNT |
| 2011: | NeverEnding Story III · Ferngully ii · Hugger-mugger of NIMH 2 · Care Bears 2 · Dungeons and Dragons · Peak eleven Dumbest Spider-Man Moments · The Lost Globe: Jurassic Park · Render of the Cornball Commercials · Inspector Gadget · Sometime vs. New: The Karate Kid · The Langoliers · Airborne · Babe Geniuses · Raiders of the Story Arc: Ten-Men · The Magic Voyage · Double Team · Top eleven Dumbasses in Distress · Jaws: The Revenge · Gordy · The OTHER Blithe Titanic Picture · Revenge of the Cornball Commercials · Once Upon a Forest · Piddling Nemo · One-time vs. New: True Grit · Suburban Knights: Part one, Office ii, Part 3, Part four, Part 5, Part half dozen, Part 7 · Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon · Milk Money · Rad · Raiders of the Story Arc: Duck Tales · Care Bears in Wonderland · Cop and a One-half · Top 11 Batman TAS Episodes · Alaska · Let's Play Bart's Nightmare · James and the Giant Peach · The Avengers · Simon Sez · The Tommyknockers · The Haunting · Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows · Exorcist 2 · Doug'south 1st Film · The Jail cell · Raiders of the Story Arc: Superman · Felix the Cat · Moulin Rouge · Babes in Toyland · How the Grinch Stole Christmas · Kid's Play |
| 2012: | Santa Claus: The Movie · Star Trek: The Motility Picture show · Star Trek three: The Search for Spock · Star Trek 5: The Final Frontier · Star Trek 7: Generations · Star Trek 9: Insurrection · Patch Adams · Ponyo · Dunston Checks In · Thomas and the Magic Railroad · Acme xi Nostalgia Critic F*** Ups Part 3 · Richie Rich · Jungle ii Jungle · Onetime vs. New: Manhunter vs. Red Dragon · Star Chaser · Transformers Cartoon · A Unproblematic Wish · Conflicting Resurrection · Jack · Heavy Metal · Mr. Magoo · Top 11 Simpsons Episodes · Signs · Digimon: The Movie · Summit eleven F*** Yeah Motion picture Themes · Baby Geniuses ii · Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom · The Wiz · Full Think (with Sci-Fi Guy) · Scooby-Doo · To Boldly Abscond: Part 1, Part 2, Office 3, Part 4, Office v, Part 6, Part vii, Part viii · NC'due south Elevation xi Favorite Jokes · The WORST Movies Nostalgia Critic'south Reviewed |
| 2013: | The Review Must Continue · The Odd Life of Timothy Green · Pearl Harbor · Son of the Mask · The Male monarch and I · Catwoman · The Cat in the Hat · Elevation 11 S Park Episodes · Jurassic Park · A.I. Bogus Intelligence · The Master of Disguise · Turbo - A Power Rangers Flick · Top 11 Dumbest Lord of the Rings Moments · Sailor Moon · Les Miserables · Tiptop eleven Developed Jokes We Never Got as Kids · The Concluding Airbender · Bridge to Terabithia · The Shining Mini-Serial · Sharknado · Devil · Dawn of the Commercials · Homo of Steel · Acme 12 Santa Clauses · Viii Crazy Nights · The Christmas Tree |
| 2014: | Face up/Off · The Wicker Man · Ghost Passenger · Pinnacle 11 Strangest Best Couples · Ghost Dad · Disney'due south Alice in Wonderland · Peak xi Moments You Never Noticed in Ghostbusters · Disney Afternoon · Foodfight · Swan Princess · The Lorax · Old vs. New: Spider-Man · Dejection Brothers 2000 · Jurassic Park 3 · After Earth · Bloodrayne · The Purge · Top eleven Trailers · Small-scale Soldiers · The Princess Diaries 2: Majestic Date · Ghost Passenger 2 · Top 11 Worst Avatar Episodes · Peak eleven All-time Avatars (with Dante Basco) · Maximum Overdrive · Top 11 New Halloween Classics · Monster Squad · Rise of the Commercials · Wood Warrior · Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (NC) · Christmas Story 2 · Care Bears Nutcracker |
| 2015: | The Matrix · The Animatrix · The Matrix Reloaded · The Matrix Revolutions · AVGN Movie · Mamma Mia! · The Haunted Mansion · Daredevil · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) · Sabotage Man · Acme xi Animaniacs Episodes · Fable of Zorro · The Ewoks Cartoon - Was That Real? · Fantastic Four · Cowboys of Moo Mesa - Was That Real? · Sharkboy and Lavagirl · Small-scale Wonder - Was That Existent? · Jupiter Ascending · Jurassic World · Peak 11 TV Evidence Intros · Planet of the Apes · Osmosis Jones · Garfield: The Movie · Pixels · The Smurfs · Hammerman - Was That Real? · Mad Max: Fury Road · Event Horizon · Children of the Corn · Hocus Pocus · Conquest of the Commercials · Dragon'south Lair · We Wish You a Turtle Christmas · Christmas with the Kranks · Star Wars: The Force Awakens (NC) |
| 2016: | The Happening · Top 11 Funniest Shyamalan Moments · Lady in the Water · Labyrinth · Spawn · Cats & Dogs · The Phantom of the Opera · The Adventures of Pluto Nash · Pinky, Elmyra and the Encephalon - Was That Real? · Batman v Superman · Bract · Onetime vs. New: Cinderella · Spy Kids 3D: Game Over · Jem and the Holograms (2015) · The Grinch vs. The Cat in the Hat - Was That Real? · Scooby-Doo 2 · Alvin and the Chipmunks · Ghostbusters (2016) · Teddy Ruxpin Alive Activeness Serial - Was That Real? · Wild Wild West · The 3rd Blithe Titanic Movie (Tentacolino) · The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle · Stephen Rex's Dreamcatcher · Freddy vs. Jason · Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows · Battle of the Commercials · Inspector Gadget Saves Christmas · Top 12 Christmas Commercials · I'll Exist Home For Christmas · Rogue 1: A Star Wars Story |
| 2017: | Peak xi Best Pic Sequels · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel · Top xi Worst Flick Sequels · The Smurfs ii · Garfield 2: A Tail of Two Kitties · Cool Globe · Former vs. New: Evil Dead · Top 11 WTF Alternating Endings · Balto · Fant4stic · Clockstoppers · The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas · Suicide Squad Trailer · Suicide Squad · Conflicting vs. Predator · Transformers: The Last Knight NON-Review · Wonder Woman · Norm of the North · Cats Don't Trip the light fantastic · Hulk (2003) · Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory · Monkeybone · Chiliad.I. Joe: The Movie · The Sorcerer's Amateur · DuckTales (2017) · Eragon · Kangaroo Jack · A Goofy Movie · Green Lantern · Scary Godmother · It (2017) · Halloween (2007) · The Mummy · The Mummy (2017) · Dragonball Development · Bangarang · State of war of the Commercials · Super Mario Bros.: The Anime · Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa · A Muppet Family Christmas · Abode Solitary 2: Lost in New York · Star Wars: The Last Jedi |
| 2018: | Mars Attacks! · Lara Croft: Tomb Raider · Top 11 Good Adam Sandler Movies · Yogi Bear · Horton Hears a Who · Batman Forever · Freakazoid · Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked · Maleficent · Alice Through the Looking Drinking glass · The Jungle Volume (2016) · Dazzler and the Beast (2017) · Woody Woodpecker · Jack and Jill · An American Tail: Fievel Goes Westward · Starship Troopers · The Emoji Pic · Scooby-Doo: The Mystery Begins · The Boss Baby · The Spirit · Deadpool two · Chicken Niggling · The Aroused Birds Motion picture · Do the Bartman · Play a trick on Kids · The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen · Bartok the Magnificent · Mission: Impossible 2 · Sonic the Hedgehog: The Movie (NC) · Doom · Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · Ghostbusters 2 · Old vs. New: Teen Titans vs. Teen Titans Become · Freddy Got Fingered · Big Fatty Liar · Fantastic iv: Rise of the Silver Surfer · Grading Cartoon Show Intros · Sleepwalkers · Top xi Stephen King Movies · Van Helsing · Rubber · The Powerpuff Girls Motion picture · Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom · A Contraction in Time · Escape from the Commercials · A Christmas Story Live · The Search for Santa Paws · The Nutcracker (2010) · Elf Bowling: The Movie |
| 2019: | Max Payne · Robocop (2014) · The Black Cauldron (NC) · Top 11 Funniest Siskel and Ebert Reviews · The State Bears · Donnie Darko · X-Men: The Blithe Series · Ten-Men · X2: X-Men United · X-Men: The Last Stand · X-Men Origins: Wolverine · Best F(r)iends · Tom and Jerry and the Wizard of Oz · Hop · Stuart Lilliputian · Toonami · Balto II: Wolf Quest · Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within · Man on the Moon · Mary Poppins Returns · Movie 43 · Conflicting 3 · Barney's Neat Chance · Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief · Constantine · Kim Possible · The Lion King · Blade II · That Darn Cat · The Jetsons See the Flintstones · Underworld · Mulan II · Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip · The Pest · The Wall · Aladdin (2019) · Hannibal · It: Chapter 2 · Demon Knight · Venom · Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island · Justice League · Frozen · Planet of the Commercials · The Grinch (2018) · The Well-nigh INSANE Christmas Rom Com · The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause · Die Hard |
| 2020: | Star Wars: The Ascension of Skywalker · Beverly Hills Chihuahua · Con Air · Duckman · Supergirl · Spider-Man · Spider-Man 2 · Spider-Man 3 · The Amazing Spider-Man · The Amazing Spider-Man 2 · Trolls · Dolittle · Frozen Ii · Independence Day: Resurgence · Critters · Alpha and Omega · Avatar (2009) · Stuart Footling 2 · Superman Returns · Totally Spies!: The Movie · Elektra · Alita: Battle Affections · Mouse Hunt · Battleship · The Hunchback of Notre Dame · The Panthera leo King (2019) · The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland · The Animated Lord of the Rings · The Iron Giant · The Bill & Ted Movies · Mulan · Playing with Fire · Trouble Child · Pokémon Detective Pikachu · X-Men: Apocalypse · The Lost Boys · The Stand up · The Witches · Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark · Tusk · Curse of the Commercials · Sucker Punch · Krampus · The Muppet Christmas Ballad · Deck the Halls · Batman Returns · Home Alone 4 |
| 2021: | Shark Tale · The FREAKIEST Raggedy Ann Movie · The Mummy Returns · Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles · 9 · Strange Magic · The Terminator · Terminator 2: Judgment Solar day · Terminator three: Rise of the Machines · Terminator Conservancy · Terminator Genisys · Terminator: Night Fate · Wonder Woman 1984 · Freaked · The Prince of Arab republic of egypt · Blade: Trinity · Mulan (2020) · Tom and Jerry (2021) · Scooby-Doo: Curse of the Lake Monster · Who Framed Roger Rabbit · The Banana Splits Movie · Prepare Player I · Men in Black II · An American Tail · Monty Python'south The Meaning of Life · Cats · Jetsons: The Movie · Atlantis: The Lost Empire · Mystery Men · X-Men: Night Phoenix · Cinderella 3: A Twist in Fourth dimension · Top xi Movies Saved by the Ending · The Mask · The Nightmare Before Christmas · The Ring · Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost · The Lawnmower Man · Leap! · Space Jam: A New Legacy · A Series of Unfortunate Events · Commercials Resurrection · Beauty and the Creature: The Enchanted Christmas · The Polar Express · Dwelling Alone v: The Vacation Heist · Grumpy Cat's Worst Christmas Always · Reindeer Games |
| 2022: | Old · Birds of Casualty · Rango · Daphne & Velma · Pan · Tarzan · National Treasure · Return to Oz · Batman Begins · The Dark Knight · The Dark Knight Rises · Batman · Batman: Mask of the Phantasm · Hancock · Bobbleheads: The Motion-picture show · Lilo & Stitch · Pinocchio: A True Story · The Rugrats Motion-picture show · Spider-Homo: No Way Home |
| DVD Exclusives: | Turkish Rambo · Video Game Review 2: Dejection Brothers (SNES) · Reefer Madness · Doomsday Machine · NC - Kickassia · NC - Suburban Knights · NC - To Boldly Abscond · NC - Live Review of Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 · Paranoia · Cup of Idiocy (Doug'south Old Home Movies) · Night of the Living Dead · The Cinema Snob Movie · The Review Must Keep Review |
| Theme months | NostalgiaWeen · Christmas · Annual Theme Month |
Source: https://thatguywiththeglasses.fandom.com/wiki/Once_Upon_a_Forest
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